Fall Festival Fail

Well needless to say the first week of October was the Fall Festival it was a giant fail for me.  I went there and had a few snacks one day but I think the worst part I was so frustrated with not having more money to go and spend there that I pigged out at my house.  I feel embarrassed to say that, it is true though.  The cool things that happened there my daughter won the lighthouse parade the first night so she got a trophy and to ride on the big float at the end of the week.  We also won two pet hermit crabs while we were there so now I have two crabs watching me type.  I have remade my schedule to try my workout again. I am trying to realize the only reason I fail is because I let myself fail.  I don't want to give myself the option this time.  I found a dress I want to fit in at Christmas time my mom is going to make it.  I felt bad because I had to get the bigger size pattern that is the first time I have had to do that for a woman's/ misses size pattern.  I felt embarrassed I am hoping by the time she starts working on it I wont have to have that size.  I am trying to think of other things that have been going on.  Not too much have been thinking about a lot of things in my life which I think has caused em to stress out.   Well I guess I need to get going for now have a good day may God bless you.



Getting prepared

Well I have started to get stuff ready for next week. I will be starting the INSANITY workouts and doing a modified Slim-Fast 3-2-1 diet plan to start out with.  I got everything i need to make it through the first week.  I am not going to use just slim fast foods I am adding more variety since there are so many meal bars similar to them.  The other semi good thing is I will not have to work until about Thursday or Friday so that means that I wont be starting to work out on top of exercise.  I will get use to a little bit of the exercise before working being added on to it.


My Breaking Point

My measurements:

Weight- 176 lbs.
Height- 5'2"
BMI- 32.2
Body Fat Percentage- 38%

Biceps- 14" Right and Left
Fullest chest- 41"
Lower chest- 34"
Waist- 36.5"
Belly Button- 40.5"
Thighs- 26" ( Right and Left)
Calves- 16" ( right and Left)

I feel embarrassment to come.

So I have been working on keeping my room cleaned and have succeed.  I even had a chance to clean it up a little bit more today which is nice.  I got all the clothes I can fit put in my closet and all the ones that when I am honest with myself just don't fit put away.  I realized the outfits I really want to wear have been put up in the attic this whole year pretty much.  I have even been working with my daughter on a better night time schedule for her.  I found its easier for me but its been rough on her as shes not use to it but hopefully within a week or so she will get the hang of it.  It has started to cool off here so we have been keeping the windows open more and it feels so nice and reminds me of camping.

After doing research on the two diet ideas I like the most the carb cycling and then slim fast what I think I may do is start with Slim-fast for a month to get use to it all again then go to the carb cycling after I am use to a better routine of eating and such.  I put in applications just waiting to hear back form places but yet each time I don't hear back I feel a little more down like I am unworthy.

I have created a pouts to lose vase and a pounds lost vase.  I have some bigger stones which are for a single pound and then lots of smaller ones which I am using as half pounds.  I would like to get down to 115 if possible but not sure that is possible but I would be happy with between 120-130.  I know some of it is up to me and how hard I work on it.

I plan on taking pictures later on today of what my body looks like and will post them that is what is going to be embarrassing if I thought previous pictures were bad these will be the worst ones yet.  I have got to do it though I keep hearing my grandma voices telling me i need to lose a few pounds from last year and I don't want to dissapoint her when I see her this holiday season. I have got to get a little bit of this weight off even if I am down to just 140 that would be better then I was last time.  I am at my  heaviest of all time right now.  If you are my friends I know you all want to support me and make me feel good about myself help me by telling me that I can lose the weight.  Well time to go get my other chores done today.  Have a good day and I will post pictures either later on tonight or tomorrow morning.


Setting out and failing...

Yes I am writing this post to say everything I have tried to do lately I have failed at besides my walk with God.  I am not completely happy with it but it has made me think about some ways I have been doing things and ways I can work on trying to be happy again.

My main problem...I havent tried.  I  keep making excuse after excuse as to why I cant do something today and put it off for tomorrow.

Solution to this: Getting more people to hold me accountable and responsible for my actions.  This isnt just for losing weight but saving money...looking for a better job...being a better mother to my daughter...being a better daughter to my parents.

Action steps to take this week:

  •  I am going to first off put up all the clothes I cant fit in that are in my closet and put them in my dresser therefore I see more of the clothes I am fitting I am going to hang one outfit up on the back of my bedroom door so every time i leave my room I see it and will remind myself to do better.
  • I am going to try and get back to eating healthier. 
  • I am going to research a few ways to lose weight healthy and see which one will fit things I am going through right now. 
  • I am going to apply to at least two more places to look for a full time position with insurance and better pay then I am making right now. 
  • I am going to keep my room picked up every day and make mine and Roo's beds each day.  
  • I am going to find pictures of when I was a size I liked and print them out to hang on my magnetic boards in my room as a reminder of what i want to get back down to.  
  • I will only weigh myself once.  
  • I will find at least three other people to hold me accountable.  One a person I see multiple times during the week, One  I see at least once a year, and one online who I have never met but we talk online alot.  If you would like to be one of those people  will message me and ask me how I am doing on the weekends and or during the week let me know, must be willing to do semi frequently.  

To those who actually read this if you want to follow me and hold me accountable please feel free to.  I am sure the best is yet to come. 


All this INSANITY is about to begin...

So I finally got over having a cold.  I did cut my hair.  Let see what else has been going on my daughters dad got married without really giving my daughter any warning so was dealing with a little bit of changes from her but I have made it through.  I plan on starting the INSANITY workout program.  I calculated and they want me to get in at least 1500 calories so I will be good there just adding in working out 6 out of 7 days.  Let see what else is going on.  That is about it.  I have started making my bed every morning and taking medicine each  night and it makes me feel a lot better then I had been. Well have a good evening and I will post more again soon.



365 Days to a New Me

Since today is my birthday and I sit here having gained more weight.  I want to work towards a goal of being a healthier me by the time I turn 29.  I am going to try and post every day for the next 365 days.  Sometimes pictures of my success and sometimes pictures of my failures... I know it will be a long struggle but one that will be amazing if I can truly working on it. 

There are many goals I would love to get accomplished but I am not sure which ones I will succeed at which ones I will fail at but I will work on it all equally.  Goals included growing my hair long, losing weight, toning my body to show some muscles, running a 5K, having healthy pretty nails,  having a clear face, making a queen size quilt,  I also want to have a little money saved up to go on a small weekend vacation somewhere.  

If you are interested in doing one with me let me know or if you just want to follow me feel free to message me any encouragement you can.  Thanks



It has been a while

Well it has been a while since i have posted on here.  I am about to start a new 90 day challenge and am hoping I can stick with this one.  I will be doing  a couch to 5K program aka c25k.  I have set a goal to run a 5k called Color Me Rad in Indy at the end of the challenge on Sept 9, 2012.  I plan on at least walking some every day and also running or starting to run at least 3 times a week.  I have some friends who are willing to do the walking with me.  I also have some friends who said they would help me train for the 5k.  I know this is not something people who know me would imagine me doing as I hated to run in school.  I was the one who would walk but never really run.

I am also going to start for the first 21 days a no junk food challenge.  I am going to cut out all fully loaded sodas and drinks.  I am going to drink water, energy drinks with zero calories, diet green tea and such that are low in calories.  It also calls for me to cut out things such as Peanut Butter, Cookies, Snack Cakes, Potato Chips, White Bread.  This is going to be difficult for me but I am going to try and stick as close to it as I can because I know that will be better for me as I am still trying to lose weight.

I have had stress lately but I am trying to work on getting rid of the stress. I know most of you think that is impossible but I plan on doing it by trusting that God will take care of the things I can't and through it all he will be there to help me.

May God Bless You All,



This year has gone by so fast...

It is hard to believe that it is almost May that is five months into the year already. I can be honest and say I haven't been too focused on losing weight and getting myself healthy.  That has been weighing on me more and more every day.  So what can I do to help get things better for me and such.  I need to make small plans for week by week vs over 90 days.  So I am going to work on my goals and schedule to go week by week.  It may be rough but I think it will be better for me.

I have started to look for a job again which is tough on me because i hate being rejected but I know things will be better in the end for me by me not getting these certain jobs.  I am trying to keep myself more active with life sometimes that is hard but I know God will protect me and help me with it all.


Major changes...

Well I had alot of major changes happen since the last post.  I moved out of the apartment with James mainly for my own reasons.  I had left the shake mix there because my daughters clothes and toys were more important.  I was able to get my shake mix that was in the mail transffered to my home vs his apartment.  It arrived last night so I have gotten my almond milk and all so that  I can start up with the diet again.  It has been tough and I have been really stressed the past month but i know that things are going to get better.  I hope that everyone has been good.  I am going to try and get thru the next 30 days at least using the shake mix.  I havent made it to a 30 day mark yet but I know I can just I put it ont he back burner.  Now is the time to get it on the front burner.


p.s. I have included my link to myfitnesspal profile what I am going to call MFP from now on.  Please feel free to join and add me as a friend on there and you can remind me to put in my information.  If you are reading this please feel free to comment with encouragement also.


I feel like giving up but...

I know that I will just be giving in and not happy with myself if I do.  This past week has been a week from hell to me and I just want it over with.  I want to just cry and be hugged but now that's just the weakness in me that I am letting win and me making excuses.  I need to put the big girl panties on and tough it all out no matter how hard or extreme things will be at first.  I need to cook lean and healthy meals for my family instead of just letting us order out all the time.  I need to exercise more instead of playing games on Facebook like I do oh so well.  When I find myself sitting around for over an hour I need to make my butt get up and do some kind of physical activity. There are lots of small things I could do stretches...playing ball with my daughter in the hallway... sit-ups.  squats...wall squats...push ups...anything but instead what do I do continue to play the games on my computer.  I wish I had more friends who lived in the same town I do right now that would be exercise partners with me. I find all this stuff I want but I cant afford it so just got to live in my means which is so hard sometimes...I need to find a church to get myself into its been so hard since I moved down here.  Now I find myself making one more excuse for it since my car has broke down.  As soon as I get my car fixed or I get a new car I know I need to get back in with God.  I need to start reading my bible every morning before I get going on my day too much.  I need to make myself wake up read my bible, exercise, eat breakfast and then wake my daughter up and get her breakfast going and then do some teaching with her.  Maybe after doing some teaching bundle both of us up and go on a walk in our apartment complex.  Then come home eat lunch and put on a movie for her then do some craft time with her then go check the mail.  Then do a snack then give her some downtime and at that point give me a little down time and then fix dinner.  It will be a hard process but I am sure if I  push myself I can start doing it and life will run a little smoother for us.  If you are a friend of mine and want to help encourage me or hold me responsible please let me know what areas you want to help me with and I will try to keep in touch with you just know that if you are holding me responsible I want to hold you responsible too...Well time to go for now.



Well I made it almost all the way...

through my first whole week...Usually by now I have stopped drinking the shakes for one reason or another this time I haven't I just got to keep pushing on.  My count was a little lower then what I was expecting but jsut means I need to push myself harder and add more fluids and take a closer count on my calories I am not sure I am getting enough of them in.  I am going to measure again on the 15 just to see the results and then start measuring once a month on the inches part I may still weight myself every week.  I cant wait to see my final results.  I thought I had been feeling bloated and my measurement results from today proved it. my neck is 14.5 my upper arm is 13 my lower arm is 10.  My full bust is 39 my underbust is 33.5 my high waist is 34 my natural waist is 38.5 my hip is 42 my thighs are 24 and my calves are 15.5  My weight was 164.2 lbs.  Time to keep going on.  Well its bedtime so I can get up and work out in the morning.  Night all.

I made it thru the first..

I made it thru almost my first week.. It was tough I got sick one day so couldn't keep anything down.  I dont have measurements yet since I lost my tape measure.  I plan on going later on today to get one and take measurements.  I also plan on starting to push myself more physically.  I feel I can be doing more in that aspect to help me lose more pounds.  I need to add more and push myself each day.  I have really been slacking in this area but I know it will be better soon.  Well got I guess I better be headed to bed for the night.


Happy New Years.

Well I am finally done running for the holidays. I am so glad to be back home and to start my new schedules.  I am going to be doing my measurements once I get my little girl to sleep today.  I have to also write down my schedule for the week of meals and such.  I am exhausted from the holidays but I know I am going to better not only my life but the life my family has.  My goals for this week is to stick to two shakes a day and a snack in between meals.  I also plan on getting up every morning to exercise at about 5am.  I then plan on doing a little cleaning until my girl wakes up and then do more activities with her and get her ready for  pre-school.  I need to get a few more things one of those being a scale.  Well I need to get going putting my little one to bed in just over an hour.