I feel embarrassment to come.

So I have been working on keeping my room cleaned and have succeed.  I even had a chance to clean it up a little bit more today which is nice.  I got all the clothes I can fit put in my closet and all the ones that when I am honest with myself just don't fit put away.  I realized the outfits I really want to wear have been put up in the attic this whole year pretty much.  I have even been working with my daughter on a better night time schedule for her.  I found its easier for me but its been rough on her as shes not use to it but hopefully within a week or so she will get the hang of it.  It has started to cool off here so we have been keeping the windows open more and it feels so nice and reminds me of camping.

After doing research on the two diet ideas I like the most the carb cycling and then slim fast what I think I may do is start with Slim-fast for a month to get use to it all again then go to the carb cycling after I am use to a better routine of eating and such.  I put in applications just waiting to hear back form places but yet each time I don't hear back I feel a little more down like I am unworthy.

I have created a pouts to lose vase and a pounds lost vase.  I have some bigger stones which are for a single pound and then lots of smaller ones which I am using as half pounds.  I would like to get down to 115 if possible but not sure that is possible but I would be happy with between 120-130.  I know some of it is up to me and how hard I work on it.

I plan on taking pictures later on today of what my body looks like and will post them that is what is going to be embarrassing if I thought previous pictures were bad these will be the worst ones yet.  I have got to do it though I keep hearing my grandma voices telling me i need to lose a few pounds from last year and I don't want to dissapoint her when I see her this holiday season. I have got to get a little bit of this weight off even if I am down to just 140 that would be better then I was last time.  I am at my  heaviest of all time right now.  If you are my friends I know you all want to support me and make me feel good about myself help me by telling me that I can lose the weight.  Well time to go get my other chores done today.  Have a good day and I will post pictures either later on tonight or tomorrow morning.